Thai Massage

Posted under Thailand 2008

Here I am — on solid food — both in and out. Quite a treat. One thing about the “zoomers” is I probably peaked athletically during this period. I certainly matched, or possibly bested an Olympic time for the 100 yard dash, and that was with my legs tightly crossed.

Must tell you about my Thai massage. All along the beaches, and in the towns, for a very modest sum you can procure a Thai massage. Bonnie has been threatening to have one since we arrived, but in our pressing schedule, hasn’t been able to squeeze it in — until now! Not only did she want a massage for herself, but was quite insistent that I should have one too. Now the very idea of lying semi-naked, on a bed, while a young lady had her way with me, had absolutely no appeal, let me assure you, but as Bonnie had already made the appointments, who was I to argue? Off to the beech we go, to some little open-air cabanas with a mattress and a masseuse. I was met by a young lady about 5 feet tall and as big around as one of my legs. After she washed my feet, [they really weren’t that dirty as I have showered since we left home] she got me to lie face down on the mattress. As I closed my eyes in preparation of this gentle massage of this old tired body, I was beset upon by a very large Sumo wrestler, in cowboy boots, who commenced to kick me in every muscle group that my body ever had. My immediate impulse was to scream out in pain, but I didn’t want to do anything that might encourage him, so I just lay there and quietly whimpered to myself. My only hope was that he would tire himself out before I lost consciousness, and I could make my escape. Actually, my time started to run out and the voice of the young lady asked me to lie on my back. I was somewhat surprised that my body would even respond to mental commands any longer, but as I rolled onto my back imagine my surprise to see that my giant Sumo wrestler had morphed back into my little Thai masseuse. I fail to understand how someone who weighs less than 100 lbs soaking wet, can exert 400 lbs of force against muscles that have comfortably atrophied for decades. After stomping, poking, prying, stretching and pinching [the lady has the hands of an iron worker] the remaining bits of my body, my hour was up. After all that,I was the only one sweating. All of this for 300 baht — 10 bucks — about what it costs to “biggie size” at Mickey D’s . Boy, I wonder what’s the better value. I did awaken this morning, knowing that my tan would be replaced by colorful green and purple welts, but not a bruise to be seen — aaand, I feel remarkably good. I may have to try this out another time or six. Scientific research you know.

Nuff for now.
T